no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
