Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
