if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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