I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
