Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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