just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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