I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
