He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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