I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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