She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
