We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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