you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
