Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She announced her abortion via fbk
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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