No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
