THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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