Life is so much better after having sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
