i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
