the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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