pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
