i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
