Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
