What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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