I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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