tell your sister to shave her snatch
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize