WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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