im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
