i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
