i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
