I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
