There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
