Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
