What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
