Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
