I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize