Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
