I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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