he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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