I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize