Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
