Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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