Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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