When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
