Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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