okay pat passed out under dana's car
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
