Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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