Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
