she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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