So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
3pm strippers are depressing
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize