grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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