i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
