Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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