accomplished twins. life is a go
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
