we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
