respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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