they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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