that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
