I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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