It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He did a backflip because drugs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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