The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
