Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
