Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
