her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize