so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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