Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
